Tuesday, April 28

25 things.....

25 Things you may not know about me

1. Once, when I was a teenager (on a dare) I ate a small, peeled grape…. Through my left nostril, or was it the right? Not sure. Not sure why this was the first thing that came to mind….
2. I have 2 “best days of my life”, so far…the birth of my daughter, and hanging out with Brad Pitt.
3. I have a raging phobia about bees, wasps, etc. I once jumped out of a canoe because a wasp landed on my knee ~ after that, I never went camping for 6 years!!! (probably ‘cause I never got invited. I don’t remember now.
4. My dream as a child was to be a dancer/singer…
Even to this day, sometimes in my dreams at night I am dancing.
5. I cannot tolerate the sound of a barking dog. It makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I physically react to a dog that is constantly barking. It’s weird.
6. I was married once. Great guy. He moved on, I stayed behind.
7. I have a rare disease called Sarcoidosis. I have a better chance at being hit by lightning than dying from it.
8. I am a TOTAL klutz.
9. After my daughter was born, I realized I had never been truly in love.
10. I believe we have soul mates, and I believe we have many.
11. I LOVE cookies. Could live on cookies.
12. The first time I got drunk, I was 7. Christmas Day. Big Italian Feast. 26 relatives for dinner, all gave me a “sip” of wine. Passed out in my mashed potatoes. Very, very funny!!
13. First day with my first car, a silver ’79 Monte Carlo… I backed into a Mercedes.
14. I have more Pyjamas’ than any other item of clothing. I loves Pyjamas.
15. I was adopted at birth.
16. I slept with the same stuffed animal until I was 14. His name was “Fluffy”. He knew ALL my secrets and dreams. I gave him to a very special little boy that I hope to see again one day.
17. I had a cat for 19 years. His name was “Reefer”. I had him cremated. I now have a jar marked “Reefer” on my mantle.
18. Yes, I have smoked pot.
19. My nickname as a small child was Mishy-Boo. I remember how weird it felt when my parents outgrew calling me that.
20. “One morning at a local pub in Calgary, before opening the doors, I saw a man out of the corner of my eye standing behind a pool table. I swear I saw NO LEGS underneath. Just then, the owner walked in distracting me, when I looked back the guy was gone.” Spooky Factor – the guy I described (including – green plaid jacket, long brown hair, moustache….) was stabbed to death during a fight, at that pool table, exactly one year before. I don’t work there anymore.
21. The most powerful, life-changing thing anyone has ever said to me came from a complete stranger.
22. I have had a secret crush on the same guy for almost 20 years. I have never had the guts to tell him.
23. I have always wanted to be famous, in some capacity.
24. I can’t touch my own bellybutton. Feels funny. Creeps me out.
25. I have no regrets.

Tuesday, April 21

Six dollar breakdown

Ahhh... the Hospital Parkade. A wonderful place, very convienient.... until you try to leave!

After an exhausting day waiting to see my specialist... Trinity by my side. Both tired and hungry... it went something like this ~

3:00 ~ Take my ticket to the booth on level 4 (have to pay first before leaving) . Cant find "bank card"... searching, searching - nope.
Tell attendant that I have to go to my car to get my "BANK CARD". She says she will keep the ticket till I get back. I say "okay". We are parked on level 2 - at the END of the parkade ( furthest spot you can get from the door) We take the stairs - healthy choice.

3:07 ~ back to the booth. Wait in big line up. Get to window.... SAME GIRL says to me as I hand her my card .... "oh sorry, we don't take interact" She smiles. I did not. She then suggests that I use the atm in the hospital to get cash. This pisses me off. I say nothing. She says she will keep my ticket until I get back... I say, "okay".....and head back to the hospital.

3:12 ~ arrive at Hospital ATM. Security guard, ATM dude. Machine is not working. I ask if there is another one... "I dunno" is his only reply. I bit my top lip. Trinity starts in AGAIN about how "super hungry she is"... we had just waited 2 hours to see my specialist. I tell her to wait for a bit.. I ask information lady if there is another machine .... she simply says..." nope" then goes back to talking to her friend. I rolled my eyes at her and she says to ME...... "you're welcome" with a sneer. I point to her and say.... " YA KNOW WHAT???? TODAY IS NOT THE DAY" and stomp away

3:17 ~ Back in line at pay booth. My turn. I explain the machine is not working. SAME GIRL says.... "if you have your driver's licence, I can write you a ticket and you have 5 days to pay"
..... MY DRIVERS LICENCE IS IN MY FUCKING CAR!!!!!!! I choose not to say this to her.
Instead, I simply say 'we'll be back'
Off we go, back to the car. We, again, take the stairs - healthy and all. As we are walking Trinity trips and falls, hurting her foot. It's bruises instantly and she is wailing. I pick her up with one good arm and attempt to carry her the rest of the way..... she is being very brave. We get to the car ~ I search my purse and ashtray and scrounge up the $6 I need to get the hell out of there. I mean, nickels and dimes.... we drive to level 4, find a parking spot nice and close... go back to the booth.

3:23 ~ Wait in line, .... again. SAME GIRL. I give her my money. She gives me my validated ticket. All is good. "Yay, Mommy"

3:25 ~ drive to exit. Insert ticket into booth. Nothing happens.... SAYS I STILL OWE $1.50. WONT RAISE THE BAR, WONT GIVE ME BACK MY TICKET. Push "HELP" button ..... dial tone... then, busy signal.

3:26 ~ my left eye starts to twitch.

3:37 ~ I bang my head against the steering wheel a few times, then back out of the lane... and start circling the parkade for another spot so I can return to my new friend at the pay booth. Trinity is hysterical at this point, thinking we are trapped in there "FOREVER"... I try to remain calm as we stand in line.

3:29 ~ get to window. SAME GIRL. She looks at me funny... I tell her the ticket isn't working and the arm wont come up. She suggests that I try the other machine, 2 levels down - and if it doesnt work there, that I should press the help button !!!!!!

3;30 I feel my knees lock, my nostrils flare.... I say "Um.. nooooo. I no longer have the ticket. It wouldn't give it back." She says... " oh, well that's because you ran out of time since i validated it. It only gives you 10 min, and that was a half and hour ago." I say "I FUCKING KNOW THAT...."
3:32 ~Sensing that I am annoyed at this point, her supervisor comes over (finally - asshole) and gives her a special card. He tells her to follow my car to the machine and override the arm so I can leave.


..... Sometime around 4;00, while driving on the deerfoot I start to shake. Left eye starts twitching again. Pain in chest. Pull car over and cry. Update facebook status, cause that was the important thing to do.... have mild breakdown, then took trinity for Pizza.

Good times....

Wednesday, April 15

"Wise men talk because they have something to say;
Fools, because they have to say something. "

That's all I have for today.... nothing much interesting happening!

Maybe later.. : )

Monday, April 6

Snip, Snip

"Take a picture of my beauuuutiful hair, Mommy." Trinity said. "I'm gonna do something special with it today, and then surprise you..... kay?"

I agreed, figuring I had time for a quick shower while she fussed; a normal routine in our house. With her ponytail skills now mastered, I figured it would be picture worthy..... I had no idea!!!

So, off I went....
And off she went...... to get her craft scissors!!! Again, .... I had no idea!!!!

As far as showers go, it was pretty good. Longer than I expected to have. "Kinda nice" I though to myself, still clueless. "She must be having fun"

NO IDEA.....

Before long, I heard excited footsteps race into my bathroom....
"Mommy, Mommy.... are you done yet? I did it!! I did it!!! I made the perfect hair. Look Mommy, LOOK!!!

So, I did.

Then, I looked again...

"Where's her freakin' hair?" I thought to myself. "Where's the.... how did.. is it........ oh sweet Jesus, she cut her hair!!!!"

I started to giggle.

She smiled even wider.


"Do you like it, Mommy?".....

Friday, April 3

Rainbow the Clown

On a lighter note.... This is Rainbow. A wonderful clown, that I must say, put on quite the show at Trinity's daycare yesterday. He was sooo good with the kids, they had a great time.

Trinity talked about him ALL NIGHT! Gave herself a headache from screaming and laughing so hard. Had to give her some tylenol before bed.... funny.

This morning.... more of the same. Rainbow this, Rainbow that, Rainbow, Rainbow, Rainbow ....

Ah, there is something so therapeutic about spending time looking at the world through the eyes of a child.
... I am so blessed.

Thursday, April 2


My friend takes her last breath, while I worry that my floor isnt swept.

Life, death, and everything in between are racing through my mind.

I have no answers.

I have no questions.

I have nothing to add.

I'm just so sad

for all the suffering,

the broken hearts left behind,

the dreams unfullfilled.

As we remember the good times, and the laughter...

We hold close the strength, the voice ~ the Essence that was Marina.

... Sweet journeys, my friend. The world was a better place with you in it.

You are missed beyond words...


Wednesday, April 1

April Fools

April Fools and the jokes on me.
I have writers block.
It sucks.

My friend lays dying in a hospice, and everything else seems so insignificant and petty.
The family has been called. Organs are shutting down. Pain can no longer be controlled.
And we all sit by waiting for the phone to ring....

I read my daughter an extra story tonight... and hugged her a little tighter.