Monday, October 19

Liz Beans... not that there's anything wrong with that!!

It's late. Very late.
I'm sitting on my computer, visiting blogs, watching U-tube vid's....
waiting for that damn insomnia fairy to leave me the hell alone ~
just for one night!

When I hear familiar little footsteps shuffle towards my bedroom.
There she is, all squinty eyed with the swagger of a drunken sailer,
trying to navigate her way onto my bed by the light of my computer screen.

As she calls to me with outstretched arms, asking for a snuggle
She starts to ramble, and this is what she says.... I kid you not,

"Mommy??? I just love you so much... when I grow up can we get
married? I thought about this A LOT, and I decided I don't want to marry
Daddy anymore. I want to marry you.
How come we have to marry boys when we get big?  Why can't we marry girls?
I think that would be more fun. Boys don't like to play with Barbies, and that's just silly.  If we get married, does that make us " Liz beans", cuz that's what Sam at school said." 

WHOA, whoa, whooooaaa!!! It's 2:00 in the morning. Wha???
Am I about to have this conversation right now? Where did THIS come from?
Did I hear her right? whajuswhosamithingy? And who the hell is Sam?

She continues... "Mommy, what's a "Liz bean"? Do you have to join a club or something?
I don't like beans, I hope you don't have to eat alot of beans.

I kiss her sweaty little forehead, and tell her that if she wants to marry Mommy, that's just fine.
I don't know why we can't marry girls, but if that's what you decide, then I don't
see why not. Go to sleep now, my love, my little 5YEAR OLD,  and we'll talk more
about it... in like, 10 years or so. Maybe 9... no less than 8.  in the morning.

Now, I'm really WIDE AWAKE. 
And headed downstairs for something stronger than freakin' Camomille Tea.
Any suggestions on this one??? I'll be here.... waiting. And praying that she
wakes up and doesn't remember a thing.

28 comments:

blueviolet said...

Oh girl, it's just not right that 5 year olds are worrying about Liz Beans already.

I think you handled it perfectly! In fact, that's probably all she needed to hear and you're safe for those 8-10 years.

magda said...

It sounds like all she was looking for was a promise to be yours forever. It is terrific that you assured her. I am feeling agitated and not surprised that a 5 year old had to be exposed to matters to big for the mind of a pre-schooler. Poor little guy.

Good for you for keeping it sweet and simple.

Theta Mom said...

Nice job mom reassuring her! No wonder why you aren't sleeping?!

That One Mom said...

It's amazing how the social learning curve has changed since we were small... My kids have known about "Liz Beans" and gays for years.

As far as advice, if it comes up again... Sometimes girls love boys, sometimes boys love girls. Sometimes girls loves girls, sometimes boys love boys. Being loved is a gift.

Suburban Hooker said...

I think you did a good job. Isn't it something what little people are forced to learn so early. I mean, personally if your kid can handle such things then I'm all for it. Maybe it would help the world they will one day inherit if things weren't so closeted?

Just tell her it doesn't matter, we don't get to chose who we love, love chooses for us and Sam is a cootie kisser anyhow!

Lisa said...

wow ... Wow ... WOW! That's an incredible midnight mumble from a 5-year-old. Bet she doesn't recall a thing in the morning -- although it's obviously on her mind. The conversations with my three daughters were quite different (and they were older) since my sister, their favorite aunt, is a Liz Bean. Hard for little minds (and big minds!) to come to terms with the incredible amount of hate and double-standards out there. You handled it well.

Amy said...

I am very proud of you. I think you handled this matter just fine. I think this is something she has heard and wants to know what it means. I think you did just fine and when she brings it up again you can let her know what it means. But right now she just wants to have you as a part of her life and wants to make sure you will always be there. Have a great day. Yeah for being a wonderful Mom.

Andrea (ace1028) said...

Beautiful discussion. Thanks for sharing. I think you handled it very well, and I hope that you did find a lil somethin' stronger to help you sleep!

Penelope said...

What a sweet, innocent thing for her to say...so cute!

magda said...

Ok. This, not a comment about your blog. I cannot believe you used LMAO in your comments(never seen it before but understood right away.) I have never used the special "codes" like LOL or BFF or whatever. So, the other day, I thought I was soooooper clever and unique for thinking I might coin my own "LMFAO". But I guess it is already out there and as usual, I am a late bloomer. Thanks for stopping by. I heart you right back. Yay blogging and motherhood. What would one be without the other?

The K Family said...

OK, I have heard of the Oedipus Complex and also the Electra Complex, but this may be a brand new category I am not familiar with. LOL. Your daughter is too cute!

Joy said...

Since it was the middle of the night, she might not even remember it. But it is a very sweet question because of the sentiment and love behind it.

That being said, what is the curriculum at school? LOL

beth♥ said...

Mom, for the win! She needed you. You were there. THAT is the important part.

Homemade Mamas said...

That is the sweetest story ever! And you handled it beautifully! Liz Beans...adorable!

We also wanted to tell you that you will be included in the giveaway - we are happy to ship to Canada if you win! :)

Janie B said...

What a precious conversation. Glad you recorded it for future reminders. I like what That One Mom said. Being loved is a gift.

Christine said...

Out of the mouths of babes. I think you did fine...she's learning so much at 5! I would just say that whomever we love so much and want to marry when we grow up...is fine:)

I gotta say...Liz Beans is a new one for me...that's just too, too funny!

blognut said...

I think you did just fine on your own!

Melissa said...

I think you handled it great! I haven't explained gay and liz beans to my kids yet, not cuz I have a problem with it, but because they're not old enough. Ya know the same reason they think you have to be married to make a baby and that's the only way to make baby. That's all they need to know now.

But since it wasn't my kid asking... HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!

And thank you for making me the site of the day :) I love your blog too!

Lisa said...

She is just adorable. And I laughed my ass off reading this post. You handled the situation SO well, I probably would have just started banging my head on the wall.

thanks for the award, by the way! *yoink!*

kys said...

You did the right thing. She sounds like a sweetie-pie.

kys said...

You did the right thing. She sounds like a sweetie-pie.

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

Pretty adorable. I have a feeling that because you answered so well and so calmly, she'll probably drop the topic and move on. The best answer with a young child is the simplest answer and it doesn't seem to me like you left her with any questions in her mind.

Good job!

Organic Meatbag said...

Hehehehe...you know what I hear gets rid of the Insomnia Fairy? A Badger!

Monique - Resident Mommy said...

"Liz Beans" - I'm dying that's so funny!

ck said...

Liz Beans - so cute! My daughter asked me to marry her too. I told her that if she could commit to a future without Barbies I'd think about it. She withdrew her offer...

EcoMeg said...

Oh my gosh. I cannot believe kids are talking about these things at that age. Whew! I think you handled it really well.

Nikki said...

That's one thing I dreaded about H starting school this year. What will he hear and what will he ask! I'm so not ready to have conversations with my kid that doesn't involve Spongebob or Transformers.

BTW, my kids marry me all the time. Meg and Hunter. Suits me just fine if they live with me forever. : )

mudmama said...

OMG, I missed this post before! I bet you were flipping out at what was coming out of her mouth in the middle of the night! You did handle it beautifully! And Liz beans, that is just too cute!