Tuesday, December 8

Canada ~ Come Naked

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.
Obviously the answers are a joke ( or are they??? ) , but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking..

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks?(Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? (Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe, Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don't stink..

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

(Yes, this is a regular sized, single car dirt road.
Yes, they are that big!!)

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.


otin said...

It's funny how people always have the wrong impression of other areas.

I am guilty of it at times. I tend to think of Africa as tribal and jungle, and then you see pictures of cities and are surprised.

Where I grew up in New Jersey was rural. We had cows and cornfields. Most people think of Jersey as a city area.

Amy said...

this was so funny. I grew up in Texas and sometimes people think everyone wears hats and boots and are cow boys or cow girls.

The Waylaid Wordsmith said...

Oh man, that was funny. I needed a laugh this morning!

magda said...

I love mooses..or is it meese? Are they seriously that big or is that just another foolish question from the USA?

Generalizations and ignorance can be pretty entertaining. Fun post.

I can't believe my word verification for today is chinook. Did you arrange that? Are those called captchas?

Lisa said...

Crazy people! (Especially the dork for USA asking about which way is north ... I can forgive idiots from other countries, but I hold fellow Americans to a higher standard.)

Regional impressions are funny. Being from Colorado, folks always figure I live on a mountaintop and ski on a regular basis. I'm a city gal who has never gone skiing in my 35+ years living here!

Brian Miller said...

hahaha...these are awesome...so naked hippo racing? i think i might have sent one of these...err...

mama-face said...

I'm so happy you came to visit me! I love making new friends. Which makes me sound like I'm in JR High. But, it's true...(not the jr high part)

This is all the way around hilarious and I can't even pick a favorite one! They're all favorites. :) Which way is north? bahaha.

Matty said...

These are just too funny. It's interesting how people have an impression of what things are like in another country they've never been to.

mudmama said...

Hysterical! "Come naked" love it.
Peoples misconceptions can be so funny.
Congratz on getting the Olympics. xoxoxo

blueviolet said...

You are hilarious! Honestly, people are so ignorant of some of the simplest things, like the English question. What???

kys said...

At least they weren't all from the USA!! LMAO!

Christine said...

Sheeesh...emBAREassed of the idiots in the US that wrote those silly questions.
I mean, DUH! of course there are Polar Bears in the streets..like only in the crosswalks, though;)

Elizabeth Mahlou said...

Hehe. This is really funny! Great answers.

Melissa said...

THAT IS HILARIOUS!!! Thanks for the laugh :)

Have you ever seen a moose that big in person? I would pee my pants.

SAHM-I-AM said...

Too funny. The questions and your answers. Come naked!!!

The girl with the flour in her hair said...

Oh God this was funny. Which direction is North?? I grew up in a very touristy mountain town and the questions I got sometimes were amazing. The cotton was blowing from the trees..."Is that snow??" Or "When do the deer turn into elk??"

Lots of good ones.

Jen said...

I love this post. I used to work in an office where I spoke to leagl professionals all over the US. I actually got these types of questions all the time and somehow had to keep a straight face at the same time :) Thank goodness it was just over the phone!