Yes, both of us. (but SHE totally started it!!!)
It's close to bedtime, we need milk.
The car is covered in snow from last nights storm. The wind is still blowing, it's bitter and cold. And for the love of all things warm and sunny, the stupid windows need brushing off .
This, my friends, I hate doing more than any other thing in this world ~ seriously. I will actually sit in my car and WAIT for the ice to melt, rather than forcing myself back out to spend the 2.5 seconds it takes to scrape ... but, I digress.
Before I go further, some background : if you ever met my daughter you would notice one thing right away ~ SHE NEVER STOPS TALKING!!!! ~ ever! Has to verbalize EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT IN HER HEAD. She is amazingly sweet, smart, and funny; and I do love listening to her ideas and thoughts, but there are limits, like; while I'm showering, or taking a pee, or scraping windows in the bitter cold.
But alas, as soon as I got out of the car, she opens her door and starts asking me a question. I'm already pissed off about the window thing, and the blowing snow, and a million other things about the day... this sends me over the edge.
And off she goes a rambling ...
Not right now. Close the door.
"MOMMY?. . . MOMMY??? I really NEED to tell you something. Can you go and ...."
It's gonna have to wait Trinity. Close the car door. I'll be right there.
"... get Sadie for me... she's all alone in my room."
I cant hear you right now, the wind is too loud. Close the door. It's gonna have to wait! (OMG, she seriously just asked me to go get her doll ...)
". . . but, MOMMY??? "
Cant hear you! Close the door. ( not listening... la, la, la, la)
"(sharply now)MOMMY! .... Seriously, I really need her. She is all alone in my room. (insert whiny voice here) I can hear her crying for me. Listen, did you hear that?? That was her, it really, really was. She needs me. Puh - LEEEZ can you just go and ...."
(yelling) TRINITY, ARE YOU ON FIRE?
ARE YOU BLEEDING?
THEN CLOSE THE CAR DOOR!!! ( did I just say that 3 octaves higher than my natural voice??)
All I can hear now is muffled screams, and endless kicking. I know she is kicking because the car is shaking. At this point, I'm not sure what happened inside my brain, but my left eye started to twitch (always the left eye ~ weird) I don't know about the rest of you, but have you ever become INSTANTLY FURIOUS??
I got back in the car, and tried to hold on to what little control of my emotions I had left. She was still screaming for Sadie. For a quick second I thought about going back in,
I told her ~ NO! (Oh, imagine the horror )
That was it, just flat out "NO". Ususally, I give her an explanation, let her know I understand how she feels, but I couldn't do it this time.
Then it was my turn to freak out!! I demanded her to stop screaming (which was totally insane because I was screaming louder than her), or I was calling Santa as soon as we got home!!!
"Go ahead, do it. Santa's dumb anyway. You don't even know his number!!!! Besides, he'll just go to Daddy's house instead. SO THERE"
At this point (and I'll spare you the details) I actually began to argue with a 5 year old as to whether or not I could get ahold of Santa. I don't know who sounded more stupid .
She screamed louder, she kicked, she whined, she threw out stuff like, "you're not my mommy anymore", "I hate milk, " I hate Santa, "I hate Christmas", "I'm going to go live with daddy" (can we drop you off now?) , "Baby Sadie doesn't like you anymore" ( mutual) " I'm NEVER talking to you again" (that sounds kinda nice),
. . . and my personal favorite "you're STUPID"
Now, I've been called alot of things in my 40 some odd years, but that did it for me. I instantly cranked up the music to drown out her temper tantrum,
She never stopped screaming and kicking the entire time!!
Then, I march her upstairs, point to her pjama's and say (freakishly slow)
"Put... them... on, now"
"I love you to the sun and the moon and back"
"I love you too. Put on your pyjama's/"
"Are you mad?"
No, I'm very disappointed in your behaviour. (Yes, I'm freakin mad. Of course I'm freakin' mad. I don't ever remember being this freakin mad. In fact, there's a good chance I might never be THIS freakin mad again.)
"You look really mad."
"Then why are you talking so weird?"
We'll discuss it in the morning.
"Are you sure you're not mad?"
" Well, if you're not mad anymore, can I have my milk and cookies now?"
and then she gave me this face
You're kidding right?