Thursday, December 31

New Years Eve - That's a wrap!!!!

What did you do in 2009 that you haven't done since having a child?
Showered 2 days in a row







Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Okay... let's get something straight.  New Year's resolutions = setting myself up for failure. 
So, NO and NO.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, the gophers that live on the hill behind my house.
Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, two goldfish and a butt ugly sucker fish.  Seriously, how long does a five year old cry over a "dead-fish"???
What countries did you visit?
None. I never leave the house.
What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?










What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The time I showered two days in a row,
The time I slept through the night.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Living to see this day
What was your biggest failure?
Bahahahaha, not gonna answer that one.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
Broke my humerous in half last February, which is NOT so HUMOROUS at all.  Took 7 months to heal, 5 months of physio and a years worth of really good painkillers to use it again properly.










Whose behavior merited celebration?
Trinity's fundraising efforts for Breast Cancer
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Trinity's need to express that I am a JERK!!!  (LOL)
Where did most of your money go?
Bills ( Le sigh)
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Sleeping through the night, and yep...... showering two days in a row!!
What song will always remind you of 2009?
Kidz Bop version of  "Like Whoa" aka "rollercoaster ride"...
(will shoot myself if I EVER hear that song again!)
Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
Happier(pain killers),  way thinner (stress),  and much poorer, but don't really care about the money on account of the fact that I have good drugs, and i'm skinnier!!!
What do you wish you’d done more of?










What do you wish you’d done less of?
Listening to Kidz Bop CD's and watching Spongebob
How did you spend Christmas?
In a fog of sleep depravation with Trinity and her Dad.  Oh, and starting a fight with her Dad's brother during Christmas dinner. 
Did you fall in love in 2009?
LMAO..... Wooo, that's funny.
What was your favorite TV program?
Anything that didn't have Spongebob in it.
Do you hate anyone now that you did not hate this time last year?
Spongebob
What was the best book you read?
LOL.... a book?? Like, a real book; with chapters and everything???
What was your greatest musical discovery?
That the "Little People" actually made a Christmas CD









What did you want and get?
One word ~ Pyjama's....
What did you want and not get?
A wife
What was your favorite film of this year?
Anything that didn't have Spongebob in it.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 41.  I can't remember what I did ~  OMG I seriously can't remember!!!
What would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?









AND










But, Seriously...
I had a great year, despite the ups and downs we all face.  I truly feel blessed everyday of my life for all that I have, all the wonderful friends and family who make everything worth while, and for the amazing young lady Trinity is growing into everyday. This year was filled with amazing experiences too numerous to mention. 
Life is good. 

Wishing all of you a very Happy New Year filled with laughter and love. 
I really do have some of the best followers, and I am so thankful for all the wonderful people I have met along the way!!!  Thank you for making my bloggy world so much fun.
And so, my friends, I leave you with this:

Every new year people make resolutions to change aspects of themselves they believe are negative. A majority of people revert back to how they were before and feel like failures.
This year I challenge you to a new resolution.
I challenge you to just be yourself.
~ Aisha Elderwyn

See ya all next year!!!!

Wednesday, December 30

The 12 Fails of Christmas

Thought I would take a few minutes to bring you all up to speed.
In keeping with the theme, "Things I would never do"
Here's my version of
Things we "didn't" do at Christmas

1) I never ate all the christmas cookies, then had to run to the corner store at 9:00 on Christmas eve to buy a pack of powdered donuts to leave for "Santa".  He did however, leave Trinity a note saying they were his favorite, so all was good.

2) I  never told Trinity that McDonald's was closed for the holidays.

3) I also never told Trinity that her new Hanna Montana Concert Stage (complete with songs, cheers from screaming girls, and flashing lights) ran out of batteries.  ~ Sorry Mama Connie, I needed a break.

4) In a mad rush to get ready for Christmas morning , I definately did NOT sweep the floor and then push it under the rug and couch until later in the day.

5) I did buy Trinity some of her favority candy treats for her stocking.  What I did NOT do on Christmas Eve was change my mind, and keep half of them for myself.  I also did not eat all of the "said candy" that night before I went to bed.

6)  I did not leave my Christmas shopping until the last minute, like all the other years before.

7) I did not leave a load of laundry in the washer for 4 days, only to wonder what that awful smell was on the 5th day.

8) I did not open a package of shortbread cookies from my stepmother, and then eat them ALL on the way home. 

9) I definately did not say something inappropriate and stupid during Christmas dinner, and inadvertenlty start world war 3, between members of Trinity's extended family. 

10)  I did not spend the rest of the night in tears because of saying something out of line to someone I care about.

11) I would never think about telling Trinity that Santa is coming in the morning to take all the toys back if she calls me a jerk one more time!!!

12) I most certainly would never, ever run out of batteries for the camera which would result in having only one picture taken Christmas morning.


Happy Holidays!!! ;)

Happy Holidays Everyone


OMG!!!! Worlds WORST blogger checking in, finally!

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! 
Can't believe how much time has gone by since my last post.  I guess the Season took over and my blog was neglected.  Lots of "blogworthy" stuff to post. . . and can't wait to catch up with all of you.

Will post something new soon.
Missing all of you sooo much ♥

Michele

Sunday, December 13

Sunday Rerun

Here is an earlier post of mine... just had to share it one more time!!

A Child’s Mind

Eyes open wide
In wonderment
The children pressed against
The classroom window
I told them to sit down

John said, But Miss!
A star has fallen in our field
Ï saw no star

Till bending down to child height
There, in the grass
I glimpsed the dazzling light
A Star?

A piece of broken jam-jar
Catching the rays of a low January sun.
Educationally, it would have been sound
To follow up with a lesson
On how the glass reflects the sunlight

I couldn’t
To forty children
Who had just seen a star
- Author Unknown

Friday, December 11

I want pickles... and you're still a jerk!!!

Yes, it's true... I'm still a jerk!
What have I done to earn this coveted title, you may ask?
Well, let me tell you:

Imagine, if you will,  a mere 16 minutes after supper ~ (a supper Trinity refused to eat becuase I didn't make the broccolli like daddy does)  she decides that pickles would be good.  Why??
"Mommy, I"M STARVING"
Well, you should have eaten your supper then.
But MOMMY... I'm SOOOOOO hungry.  I could eat the whole earth!
The whole earth hey?
I WANT PICKLES!!! Puh-leez can I have some pickles???
No.










You're a JERK!! (screamed this in my ear, no less)
I know, you told me yesterday.  Now, go to your room.

She stomped upstairs like a teenager who couldn't go the mall!!
Stomp, stomp, stomp.  SLAM!
10 minutes later, she was asleep (in her clothes) .

The next morning. . . for breakfast?
I gave her pickles.












"You're a JERK!!! "  

Christmas light show

Somebody really, really loves Christmas!!!
There's a few vid's like this on the internet these days, this one blew me away!!

This is amazing !!

 

Thursday, December 10

Portable North Pole

This is amazing!  A personalized video from Santa!! 
How cool is that???

Enjoy
Portable North Pole

Wednesday, December 9

These boots are made for walkin'

It was a day.

I was called a "Jerk" by my sweet, loving, miracle baby, let's donate money to cancer, I hate Santa, can I haz cookies now, thoughtful, love of my life, angel I call Trinity.
A JERK ~ people!!!!!  
She called me a JERK ~ twice!!!
All I can say is I'm glad I did "not" eat all her candy.

Next up, we're running late, which "never" happens in our house ~ ever!  I frantically run out to start the car. Nothing.  Click, click, click.  It's only like -135 degrees celsius ( that's - 4000 for my american friends) I shouldn't have to plug it in, right??
After a mild panic attack. My only option was to (gasp) walk the block and a half to school ( uphill both ways, of course). Then, do the trek all over again 3 hours later.  Yes, I really do drive my car a block and a half to school.

~ Then, while layering up for the long hike, I decide it may be wise to wear something warmer than running shoes, so I quickly grab my winter boots out of the garage (where my car should be) .  Something felt funny under my big toe. No time to check... must get loving daughter to school.

Get home, check said boots, and what falls out (to my horror) ~ wait for it...... a giant, scrunched up, Spider!  NOT EVEN KIDDING! I mean, it was huge.  HUGE, I tell ya!!!


















Okay, maybe not big as a german shepard huge, but still.....

Note to self:  Next year, when pulling out a pair of smelly footwear,  check for dead gigantic insects.  Or better yet, plug in your dumb-ass car, and wear flip-flops all year round!!!


Tuesday, December 8

Canada ~ Come Naked













Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.
Obviously the answers are a joke ( or are they??? ) , but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.













Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking..

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks?(Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.









Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? (Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.








Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe, Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.









Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don't stink..








Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.









Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.










Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.



(Yes, this is a regular sized, single car dirt road.
Yes, they are that big!!)






Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Monday, December 7

Not Me Monday

Okay... I just stumbled across this fantastic Meme. I don't normally do these, but I think this one is a keeper. If you decide to play along, let me know. . . I wanna laugh at your expense too!!


Over at MckMama (go there now, I'll wait)  she is the creator of Not Me Mondays. This is where we get to share all the things we would "NEVER" do, or didn't do.  It's hysterically funny! So, I thought I would give it a go, and air some dirty laundry ... (in case any of you thought I was perfect) !!! HA
All you have to do to play is visit her site, grab the button, and add your name to the Mcklinky list.

1.)  I did "not" eat all of Trinity's lick-a-stick candys last night while blogging, and then tell her this morning they must have fallen out of the bag on the way home.

2.) I did "not" let her eat a candy cane for breakfast last week, because I had a headache and could not get out of bed right away.

3.) I would  "not" sleep in my pjyama's, then wear them all day for two days in a row. That's just disgusting, I would "never" do such a thing. I have my pride.

4.) I did "not" pull a sweater for Trinity from the dirty laundry pile, sniff it, check for pieces of food, then tell her it was from the clean pile.

5.)  I would "never" forget about garbage day for two weeks in a row, and then have 6 bags piling up in my garage.

6.)  I would "never" let my child eat a bowl of cereal on the floor without a spoon, simply because she has morphed into CottonTail the bunny.

7.) I would "never" tell Trinity that I will SHAVE HER HEAD BALD if she freaks out one more time over her hair in the morning.

8.) And I certainly did "not" procrastinate all weekend about laundry, cleaning bathrooms, and the like. I am a "get-'er-done kinda girl. My house is totally spotless, all the time. And I always know where everything is.

There ya have it.  Oh, there's more, but I do "not" anticipate being anything less than perfect this week, so I'm gonna save the rest for later ;)

Flashback

Just a little something I wanted to share.
You might remember this summer I had a garage sale.  A few friends got together and hosted one at my place as a fundraiser for breast cancer.  We also had a bake sale at the same time. My friend, her sister, and mother KNOCKED themselves out baking for this special event. It was a huge success.

Trinity wanted to do a lemonade stand, and cookies. So, we baked some butterfly cookies and sold lemonade that day as well. Long story short, she decided to donate all of her money ($25) to the "sore boobies" as well. Word got around, and people starting matching her donation. It was called "Trinity's Lemonade Challenge"
 She raised just over $500 for breast cancer. It was overwhelming. The local paper got wind of this, and did a story on her.  You can read it HERE .

The story ran, but they didn't have room for the pictures that they took, which disappointed Trinity terribly. The journalist who wrote the story was kind enough to send me copies of the pics. So, thought I would share them with you. 
































(photos courtesy Covy Moore, City View)

Sunday, December 6

Milk Meltdown

Trinity and I had a complete meltdown last night. 
Yes, both of us. (but SHE totally started it!!!)

It's close to bedtime, we need milk.
The car is covered in snow from last nights storm. The wind is still blowing, it's bitter and cold. And for the love of all things warm and sunny, the stupid windows need brushing off .
This, my friends, I hate doing more than any other thing in this world ~ seriously. I will actually sit in my car and WAIT for the ice to melt, rather than forcing myself back out to spend the 2.5 seconds it takes to scrape ... but, I digress.

Before I go further, some background :  if you ever met my daughter you would notice one thing right away ~ SHE NEVER STOPS TALKING!!!! ~ ever! Has to verbalize EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT IN HER HEAD. She is amazingly sweet, smart, and funny; and I do love listening to her ideas and thoughts, but there are limits, like; while I'm showering, or taking a pee, or scraping windows in the bitter cold.

But alas, as soon as I got out of the car, she opens her door and starts asking me a question.  I'm already pissed off about the window thing, and the blowing snow, and a million other things about the day... this sends me over the edge.
And off she goes a rambling ...

"Mommy....?"
Not right now. Close the door.
"MOMMY?. . .  MOMMY???  I really NEED to tell you something.  Can you go and ...."
It's gonna have to wait Trinity.  Close the car door.  I'll be right there.
"... get Sadie for me... she's all alone in my room."








I cant hear you right now, the wind is too loud. Close the door. It's gonna have to wait! (OMG, she seriously just asked me to go get her doll ...)
". . . but, MOMMY??? "
Cant hear you! Close the door.  ( not listening... la, la, la, la)
"(sharply now)MOMMY! .... Seriously, I really need her. She is all alone in my room. (insert whiny voice here) I can hear her crying for me. Listen, did you hear that?? That was her, it really, really was. She needs me.  Puh - LEEEZ can you just go and ...."
(yelling) TRINITY, ARE YOU ON FIRE?
"no."
ARE YOU BLEEDING?
"no"
THEN CLOSE THE CAR DOOR!!! ( did I just say that 3 octaves higher than my natural voice??)

All I can hear now is muffled screams, and endless kicking. I know she is kicking because the car is shaking. At this point, I'm not sure what happened inside my brain, but my left eye started to twitch (always the left eye ~ weird) I don't know about the rest of you, but have you ever become INSTANTLY FURIOUS??

I got back in the car, and tried to hold on to what little control of my emotions I had left.  She was still screaming for Sadie. For a quick second I thought about going back in, getting the damn thing, lighting in on fire, and stuffing it in a snowbank  bringing her down just to stop the screaming. Instead, I did the unthinkable:
I told her ~ NO!  (Oh, imagine the horror )
That was it, just flat out  "NO".  Ususally, I give her an explanation, let her know I understand how she feels, but I couldn't do it this time.
Then it was my turn to freak out!! I demanded her to stop screaming (which was totally insane because I was screaming louder than her), or I was calling Santa as soon as we got home!!!

"Go ahead, do it.  Santa's dumb anyway.  You don't even know his number!!!! Besides, he'll just go to Daddy's house instead.  SO THERE"

At this point (and I'll spare you the details) I actually began to argue with a 5 year old as to whether or not I could get ahold of Santa. I don't know who sounded more stupid .
She screamed louder, she kicked, she whined, she threw out stuff like, "you're not my mommy anymore", "I hate milk, " I hate Santa, "I hate Christmas", "I'm going to go live with daddy" (can we drop you off now?) , "Baby Sadie doesn't like you anymore" ( mutual)  " I'm NEVER talking to you again" (that sounds kinda nice),
. . . and my personal favorite "you're STUPID"
Now, I've been called alot of things in my 40 some odd years, but that did it for me. I instantly cranked up the music to drown out her temper tantrum, and the voices in my head telling me to dispose of baby Sadie, drove to the store, got milk, and came home; all without saying a word.
She never stopped screaming and kicking the entire time!!
Then, I march her upstairs, point to her pjama's and say (freakishly slow)

"Put... them... on, now"
"Mommy? "
Uh-huh?
"I love you to the sun and the moon and back"
"I love you too. Put on your pyjama's/"
"Mommy? "
"Yes?"
"Are you mad?"
No, I'm very disappointed in your behaviour. (Yes, I'm freakin mad. Of course I'm freakin' mad.  I don't ever remember being this freakin mad. In fact, there's a good chance I might never be THIS freakin mad again.)
"You look really mad."
I'm not.
"Then why are you talking so weird?"
We'll discuss it in the morning.
"Are you sure you're not mad?"
Yes.
"Um..., Mommy???" 
(sigh) Yes??
" Well, if you're not mad anymore, can I have my milk and cookies now?"
and then she gave me this face








You're kidding right?

Saturday, December 5

A Lovely little snow day!!1

There is one crazy ass storm blowing through my little corner of the world.
In the words of a  5 yr old classmate of Trinity's today
"I haven't seen a blizzard like this in YEARS !!!"
Your Weather: Isn't this weather lovely? - The Weather Network

Seriously though, the wind is gusting so hard, it's shaking the house.
Call me weird, but I love it! I love any kind of "severe" weather. 
Funny thing is, I live in southern Alberta ~ which means in a couple of days
one our famous chinooks will blow in, and we'll all be running around in t-shirts !!! 
Hopefully the storm will end soon, or I fear the whole city will be buried in the stuff by morning. 
And I simply do not have enough Hot chocolate and Bailey's to last until someone could dig me out!!! (ya know, the important stuff to have on hand during any crisis) LOL


A Mom Moment

This post is for all the wonderful "MOMS" out there.  You know who you are !!!!
I recieved an email today from a dear friend, and one of the best mom's I know. Thought I would pass it along.  Thank you, Lisa D.  I "heart" you... 

MOTHERS
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
Are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
Filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough
Doesn't come out of carpets.


Real Mothers don't want to know what
The vacuum just sucked up.

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?'
And get their answer when a little voice says, 'Because I love you best.'

Real Mothers know that a child's growth
Is not measured by height or years or grades.....
It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Grandma...

The Images of Mother
4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit!
35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion
45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

Thursday, December 3

Inconsistency. Is there an Award for that??

Seriously people, it's getting a little frustrating how life just keeps cutting into my blogging time!

Some kind of weird creative block is taking over my brain.  I DONT LIKE IT ONE BIT!!
I'm sitting here, fingers on the keyboard and then........ NOTHING.  I got nuthin'
Well, I shouldn't say, "nothing".  Lots has been going on that would make great posts, but I can't bring myself to sit and write about them in detail. 

Like, for instance; Good ole' S-A-M is up to his usual "kissy face" antics. They are getting married, but not until they're older ~ like, grade 2 or something.  Lord help me!

And then there was the trip to the Dollar Store (which was almost as funny as http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/, but I will save that for another day. 

Or, the fact that Trinity's list for Santa is now 4 pages long.  Everytime she sits down to watch TV, she gets out her pen and paper, and waits for the commercials; poised and ready to write.  Hysterical.

Or,  the time I checked my hope chest last weekend, found my baby book with a family tree filled out, and found out that my great, great grandmother's name was AMELIA! (still reeling from that one)

Or, tonight we had a bubble bath together and she farted in the tub.  We giggled at this, and continued playing for a couple of minutes when I noticed something floating in the water just below my left knee. At first, I just thought it was a piece of .... I don't know what.  So, I attempted to grab it with my FINGERS ~ WITH MY FINGERS, people!!!
I fished around, caught it, and began squashing it in an attempt to identify the UFO (unknown floating object).  Then ever so slowly my brain caught up with what was going on.  YUP, it was a little piece of "poop". I'll just leave it at that. 

So, suffice to say the material is there ~  Maybe I'll just stick to point form for now. 

But, despite my absence I did manage to win a couple of AWARDS  from a  fellow bloggers.
The first one is from Ali,  over at The Balancing Act of One Chic Mommy  .  If you haven't been to visit her yet, then you should go there right away.... I'll wait.  She is a wonderful lady, with a great style all her own.  I always look forward to her posts.  Thank you so much Ali for my award, and for thinking that my blog is "heartfelt".  How awsome is that???








I will make sure to pass this award along in tomorrow's post. 
There are so many blogs that I feel are heartfelt as well, it's gonna be tough only picking a few.

The next one is from another fellow bloggy friend that I absolutely adore.  Her name is Janie, and you can find her at  Life not Wasted or Lost .  She is an amazing woman, grandmother, art teacher, writer... the list goes on.  Her spirit, and love for her family is inspiring. If you get a chance, make sure to stop by and visit her. 
Thank you, Lisa.  I "heart" you too !!!