Tuesday, January 12

Not Me ~ err, Monday??



Yes, I know it's Tuesday.  Don't judge.

It's not like me to procrastinate ~ no way. That just leads to stress (of which I do not have) and things pile up out of control.  I do not know what that would feel like, but i'm guessing it would lead to insomnia; which I also do not suffer from.

It has come to my attention that some mothers out there are actually too exhausted some days to properly feed their children. I would never let Trinity make herself a "chocolate icing sandwich" for breafast simply becuase I was too tired/sick to get out of bed at 5:30 AM and stop her.  

Also, I would never tell Trinity to "go watch Sponge Bob"  while I finish some work on the computer. I would not tell her this even though my work was done, and was just catching up on facebook instead.  That would be wrong, and well... that's not the way I roll.  I always tell her the truth.

While tidying up her craft area, I do not throw anything out. I keep every little craft, snowflake, stick family picture, and painted toilet paper roll. I mean, c'mon people ~ those are precious memories right there. 

After bringing me my morning "coffee" that she proudly made herself from pink lemonade, chocolate sauce, coffee grounds, and salt.  I did not take it with me to the bathroom, and pour it down the drain while pretending to wash my face.
And, I did not top it off with a completely fake " Mmmm, that was yummy" comment,  just to ease my guilt.

I did not get pissed off and mumble the word "fuck" in Walmart.  And after being chastised by Trinity for not saying the word, I did not begin to debate with a 5 yr old that I said the word "frick" instead. 
And, I did not lose said debate when she did not look at me, raise one eyebrow (yes, she can do that), and say real loud, "Mommy, that means the same thing as FUCK, ya know."
To which I did not reply, "Fine, just don't tell your dad."

He reads my blog though... Frick.

(got me a new little signature thingy... yay me )
Photobucket

22 comments:

The Absence of Alternatives said...

Congrats on the signature. LOL at the Frick incident.

otin said...

ehh, eating an icing sandwich while watching a cartoon about a sarcastic little tampon looking guy and wondering why Mom says fuck is not so bad! HAHA!!!

You are Fricken funny!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Chocolate icing sandwich? Bet you're NOT popular with your kid at all. ;P

Brian Miller said...

you should probably be the worlds favorite mommmy at this point, at least by the kids. lol. too funny.

Amy said...

too funny... love it..

Big City Dad said...

I'm going to make an icing sandwich right now! That sounds AWESOME

Unknown Mami said...

I did not tell my husband last night that I was working when I was really blogging.

Lori E said...

Ma'am did you or did you not feed your child an icing sandwich for breakfast?
Just the facts Ma'am.
Well technically she fed it to herself didn't she?
You are off the fricken hook.

Laura said...

I have to admit I have sent my girls to watch TV while I cooked (but no icing sandwiches here). And I have to admit I love SpongeBob and watch him almost everyday.

Thanks for visiting my blog.

magda said...

it is too much to believe, these reports of imaginary child called Trinity. I think it may in fact be your alter personality, you know the contrary one. either way both personalities are pretty darn lovable. love her, i mean you.

magda said...

cool signature...i want one!! i am to chicken to play with my html.

Matty said...

This is just plain funny. I love your um.....honesty.

ck said...

I do not throw kid crafts out either. My daughter does not periodically go through the recycling bin to inspect it for lost treasures I "disrespected." I love everything my girls create.

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

I would never do or say those things either. ::whistling::

Love your new sig!

blueviolet said...

Your daughter is way too slick for her age!

carma said...

I like your new little signature thingy - and way to go with Not Me Monday on Tuesday - you are a rebel!

Andrea (ace1028) said...

Awesome. Love it. I almost did my Not Me on Tuesday, too, but I was too lazy. :) You rock. You make me feel so good about not being alone in this mommy-mode.

mudmama said...

Digging your new siggie- and the fuck, i mean, frick, story cracks me up! :)

Recovering Procrastinator said...

OOh, she is TOO smart! My kids have not figured out that certain "ok" things mean the same things as "naughty" things.

I love the coffee she made you. And I think pretending to love it is exactly what a mom should do.

Flying Giggles and Lollipops said...

You are too fricking funny!

I accidentally popped out with "Shit!" today while driving because I changed lanes in the middle of an intersection to avoid getting stuck behind the bus. It was not the safest or most legal lane change and of course, right after I did it, I noticed a police turning in my direction.

As soon as that word slipped out of my mouth, Aiyana says, "What you do Mom?"

Guilty.

Christine said...

HOLY FRICK! I am not rolling here, LMAO.

And I know my kids did not ever say 'fuck' in public at the tender age of 4...err, I mean 5.

Thanks for the funny....I soooo needed it:)

kys said...

Those are so funny!

I did NOT sleep on the couch for an hour this afternoon instead of mopping the floors.