and seeings how I've decided that the New Year isn't going to officially begin until Monday, I think it is perfectly acceptable to be lazy one more day.
So, here it is... after numerous comments, and requests from several readers (and one in particular), I am re-posting my infamous meltdown in the hospital parkade this spring.
Six Dollar Breakdown
Ahhh... the Hospital Parkade. A wonderful place, very convienient.... until you try to leave!
After an exhausting day waiting to see my specialist... Trinity by my side, we're both tired and hungry... it went something like this ~
3:00 ~ Take my ticket to the booth on level 4 (have to pay first before leaving) . Cant find "bank card"... searching, searching - nope.
Tell attendant that I have to go to my car to get my "BANK CARD". She says she will keep the ticket till I get back. I say "okay". We are parked on level 2 - at the END of the parkade ( furthest spot you can get from the door) We take the stairs - a healthy choice.
3:07 ~ back to the booth. Wait in big line up. Get to window.... SAME GIRL says to me as I hand her said "BANK CARD".... "oh sorry, we don't take interact" She smiles ~ I did not. She then suggests that I use the atm in the hospital to get cash (this idea apparently escaped at our first meeting) Nevertheless, this pisses me off, but I say nothing. She says she will keep my ticket until I get back. I say, "okay".....and head back to the hospital.
3:12 ~ arrive at Hospital ATM. Security guard, ATM dude stare blankly at the open metal box. Machine is not working. I ask if there is another one... "I dunno" is the only reply. I bit my top lip. Trinity starts in AGAIN about how "super hungry she is"... we had just waited 2 hours to see my specialist. I tell her to wait for a bit.. I ask Information Booth lady if there is another machine .... she simply says..." nope" then goes back to talking to her friend. I rolled my eyes at her, and she says to ME...... "you're welcome" with a sneer. I point to her and say.... " YA KNOW WHAT???? TODAY IS NOT THE DAY" and stomp away.
3:17 ~ Back in line at pay booth. My turn. I explain the machine is not working. SAME GIRL says.... "if you have your driver's licence, I can write you a ticket and you have 5 days to pay"
..... MY DRIVERS LICENCE IS IN MY FUCKING CAR!!!!!!! I choose not to say this to her.
Instead, I simply say 'we'll be back'
Off we go, back to the car. We, again, take the stairs - healthy and all. As we are walking Trinity trips and falls, hurting her foot. It's bruises instantly and she is wailing. I pick her up with one good arm and attempt to carry her the rest of the way..... she is being very brave. We get to the car ~ I decide to search my purse and ashtray and manage to scrounge up the 6 bucks I need to get the hell out of there. I mean, sticky nickels and dimes, I did not care. .... we drive to level 4, find a parking spot nice and close... go back to the booth.
3:23 ~ Wait in line, .... again. SAME GIRL. I give her my money. She gives me my validated ticket. All is good. "Yay, Mommy"
3:25 ~ drive to exit. Insert ticket into booth. Nothing happens.... SAYS I STILL OWE $1.50. WONT RAISE THE BAR, WONT GIVE ME BACK MY TICKET. Push "HELP" button ..... dial tone... then, busy signal.
3:26 ~ left eye starts to twitch.
3:37 ~ I bang my head against the steering wheel a few times, then back out of the lane... and start
3:29 ~ get to window. SAME GIRL. She looks at me funny... I tell her the ticket isn't working and the arm wont come up. She suggests that I try the other machine, 2 levels down - and if it doesnt work there, that I should press the help button !!!!!!
3;30 I feel my knees lock, my nostrils flare.... I say "Um.. nooooo. I no longer have the ticket. It wouldn't give it back." She says... "oh, well that's probably because you ran out of time since I validated it. It only gives you 10 min, and that was a half and hour ago." I finally let 'er rip, and say "I FUCKING KNOW THAT...."
3:32 ~Sensing that I am annoyed at this point, her supervisor comes over (finally - asshole) and gives her a special card. He tells her to follow my car to the machine and override the arm so I can leave.
3:35 ~ THANK YOU MISTER FUCKING SUPERVISOR GUY
..... Sometime around 4;00, while driving on the deerfoot I start to shake. Left eye starts twitching again. Pain in chest. Pull car over and cry. Update facebook status, cause that was the important thing to do.... have mild breakdown, then took trinity for Pizza.