I figured I had some catching up to do since the last one.
Maybe we'll call it
"Not Me" For the Month of March So Far, Up to and Including Today
1. (a) Did not make the mistake of giving my child candy after school, then take her to Dollarama.
(b) Did not lose my cool in aisle 7, and tell her to stop calling me "mommy"
(c) Did not say to her in a rude tone, "For the last time, GET UP OFF THE FLOOR. Why do I have to ALWAYS say it more than once, with you today???
This was not followed simultaneously by bumping into her kindergarten teacher. A shining moment.
2. Did not (again) buy a large bag of gummy worms for Trinity, and eat them all while she was asleep.
3. Did not forget garbage day, Library book day, or any other scheduled appointments or responsibilities.
4. When awoken at 3 AM by my naked child explaining to me that she had wet the bed, I did not grunt the word, "Meh", bring her in bed with me, and leave the wet smelly mess until morning.
5. I did not dream about my first love six nights in a row, wake up all melancholy and reflective, look him up on facebook, send a friend request, get accepted one day, and deleted by him the next.
6. I did not secretly bless this guy,
. . . for allowing me a 20 minute catnap, 3 separate times in one day. Nope, not me... I would never be one of those moms who stick their child in front of the TV for reasons entirely self-serving.
7. On my front porch, I do not still have a Christmas lamp post, an Autum silk flower arrangement in a hanging basket, and a giant Easter Bunny sticker on my screen door window.